On the darkest days…

Do you know that the day you were born, you were already surrounded by survivors? 

You’re not alone. 

It might seem darker than you ever thought possible. The lies inside your head might be screaming at you or maybe the silence is deafening. Either way. You’re not alone. 

So far, we have all survived our very worst day. It might sound corny. You might want to throw your device, but don’t. 

I started Complex Hope because hopeful phrases and sayings used to make me mad. People who hadn’t been through the trauma that I had endured would rattle off peppy happy sayings about overcoming and the anger would boil within me.  Are you in that same place?

Or are you so far in the darkness that you think you won’t see the light again?

No one has a right to tell you how or when you overcome. That’s your choice.

Today might be a horrible day. I’m sorry. I really am. I know the pain of those days. You’re not alone. 

You might feel alone and hopeless but you’re not. This is a place where you belong and are understood. 

Most people don’t understand how complex hope is when you’ve endured serious trauma. You might be scared to hope again, or think it just won’t happen. 

So how do we overcome and find the hope again? We do it together. I’m a survivor. You are too. And you’re not alone.

If today is hard….

Here’s a list of things that might help:

1. Throw plates at a brick wall. Throw them really hard (but wear eye protection).

2. Text a friend. I know you don’t want to but do it. Tell them you’re having a hard day and it’s OK to tell them you don’t want to talk about it but you just wanted them to know.

3. Go for a walk. Feel free to complain the whole time. Reward yourself with fries or a nap.

4. Watch this video. 

5. Go back to bed. It’s OK if you just need to rest.

6. Draw or paint. It doesn’t have to have color. Or be happy. Grief, anger, and sadness are part of life. 

7. Look for dark humor memes online. Email them to your therapist. 

8. Do what you need. If you need food, have some delivered. If you need a bath or shower, set that as a goal for the day. Bad days are slow and steady. Go at your pace. 

9. Write. If you struggle to journal, try writing a letter to someone (But you don’t have to send it. Sometimes it just helps to write to someone.)

10. Aim for tomorrow. You can make it. I believe in you. 

You’re not alone.