Everyone deserves support. Yet, due to the nature of complex trauma, many times, survivors are isolated and alone. They might have problems with attachments and finding true friendships, or their loss of self-worth might drive them to put up walls and push people away.

Supporting someone with complex trauma can be challenging but also incredibly rewarding.

Here are some ways to help support someone with complex trauma:

Educate Yourself: Learn about complex trauma and its effects. Understanding what they’re going through can help you be more empathetic.

Listen Actively: Create a safe space for them to share their feelings. Listen without judgment and let them express themselves at their own pace.

Be Patient: Remember, healing takes time. Avoid pushing them to talk or to move on too quickly. Patience is a virtue in this journey of support.

Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge their emotions and experiences. Let them know it’s okay to feel what they’re feeling.

Encourage Professional Help: Suggest therapy or support groups if they’re open to it. Professional guidance from a therapist who knows trauma can be crucial for healing.

Set Boundaries: It’s important to protect your mental health too. Be clear about what you can and cannot handle. Seek out counseling or therapy to support yourself if you need it.

Offer Practical Support: Simple acts like helping with daily tasks can be incredibly helpful. For instance, you could pick up groceries, help with household chores, or walk their dog. These tasks may seem small, but they can make a big difference in their daily life.

Be Consistent: Show that you’re there for them. Consistency can help build trust.

Avoid Triggers: Be mindful of situations that may trigger their trauma responses. Triggers are specific stimuli that can bring back distressing memories or emotions related to the trauma. By being aware of these triggers, you can help create a safer environment for the survivor.

Promote Self-Care: Encourage them to engage in activities that promote their well-being, whether it’s resting, creating art, or walks in nature. Remember, self-care is not selfish, it’s necessary for their healing.

One of the most important things to remember when supporting someone with complex trauma is that they get to tell their story. Please do not push them to talk to you about their trauma or about what happened. Instead, create a safe and supportive environment where they feel comfortable sharing their story when they are ready.

When they trust you enough to tell you their stories, you’ll find that survivors often repeat the same stories repeatedly. It’s their way of working through the harm and processing the trauma. The best thing you can do is listen, even if you’ve heard it before.

Always remember that your role is to support, not to fix. Just being there can make a big difference.